I was sober for a year between August 2016 – August 2017. You can read about that experience by clicking here. It was incredibly tough and yet I learnt nothing from it. Weird, right? Now a year later I look back on that experience and see where I sit 12 months later.
I sit here writing on a Monday night with a beer in hand. Not because I enjoy the taste or deserve the day off, but because it’s the only way I know how to relax. My weekends are great, I’m back at the gym 3 days a week after almost 12 months away and yet I’m planning my life around the days I can get fucked up. Why? I have no idea. I’ll watch a comedian fuck up on stage and eventually apologize citing stress. I’ll see a YouTube channel sell out and say that they’re experiencing depression. I’ll disappoint myself on a daily basis and come out empty-handed. I have no excuses. Why did you do X, Mat? I’m not sure. Why did you do Y, Mat? Fucked if I know, I just did it.
You see, back in 2016 I saw alcohol as the common denominator. I fucked up X, and alcohol was the Y. I destroyed Y and booze was X. What I didn’t know was that X & Y weren’t the only letters we were dealing with, we were dealing with the entire fucking alphabet. Correlation does not imply causation. I cut out my X’s & Y’s without touching the A’s, B’s, C’s and so on. I had lost my way. I had blinkers on trying to narrow my focus when I should have been exploring all of the different leads. Basically I went at it alone, thought I knew everything & it all blew up in my face.
I talk to you as a group but please indulge me as I address you as a person. This year has been really tough. I’ve been distant & I’ve been still which I apologize for. I’ve had deadlines and countdowns that just haven’t worked even though I tried my hardest to keep them. I really enjoy talking with you. If you were here, I would drop everything I was doing and engage with you. I’ve fucked up time & time again in the past but I do believe there’s hope in the future.
Now I come back to you guys trying my hardest to give a positive update. I can’t say that I have a million different products and ideas. I can’t say that it’s all smooth sailing from here on out. All I can say is that we’re still working on wacky waving man & we’re into some really deep R&D and I’m hoping that this year we can release something to the public. Wacky Waving Man is going to be the most over-engineered, fun, useless product on the market so please don’t miss out.
If you’re wanting to stay up to date with wacky waving man, click here.
Glad to have you back Mat!
It’s always interesting when you think “if I get rid of X, Y will be better” and then realize than Y wasn’t only because of X, but because of A, B, C and a letter that you can’t find no matter how hard you try.
No need to apologize IMO. Your life is your life & everyone has shit to deal with.
Appreciate the transparency!
Appreciate you reading.
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